Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
They are going to name an STD after you.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize