I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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