Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We left the knife in your bed.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
