Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
