due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
