can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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