He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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