i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
