if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
