My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
