I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
