so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
