i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You need Xanax blowdarts
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
