Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
