Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
