i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
