Fuck appropriateness.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
