I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
