I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
How naked do you want me to be?
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