I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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