Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We're too hungover to prance.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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