Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize