My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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