Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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