yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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