We won't sleep together?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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