You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
why is half of my head shaved?
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