I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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