Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
