She announced her abortion via fbk
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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