Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
