I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
