after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I party with great urgency now.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
