there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You don't make any sense
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