Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
