I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
