I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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