East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
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his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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