This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i think i have two assholes
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize