not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
