I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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