hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
