had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
