Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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