You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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