I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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