she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
