dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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