come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
