If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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