Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
