im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
