There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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