God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
