Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
