i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
