I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
