I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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