I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
