Did you just see the Batmobile???
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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