what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize