Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
