Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
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I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
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Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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