actually, I'm a sock model
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
