Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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