i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
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Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
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btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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