so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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