It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
